First of all, I gotta say it:
If you can have ALL YOUR KIDS by *ONE WOMAN* that is the idea situation!
For the ladies, if you can have ALL YOUR KIDS by *ONE MAN* that is the idea situation!
This series of post are not to encourage men to sow seeds all over the place or to convince some single-something woman with no kids to be a contributing co-parent with a man with more than one extra woman for her to deal with the rest of her days. No. These here posts are for men and women *ALL READY* in these types of situations. In my next post we will deal with “Getting Past The Shame” but in this post we deal with the dealing its self(^;
Okay, so you got 2 or more baby mamas. All with kids who need time and resources. Again, this is not idea. It’s not idea because the more kids you have the less time and resources you have to divide between the kids. And that’s in the same house!
Kids require time and attention and they have these crazy things called “basic creature needs” that get in the way.
With that said, I have to take a step away and say to my single, kid-less folks who may be reading: ONCE YOU HAVE KIDS, YOUR LIFE AIN’T ABOUT *YOU* ANYMORE. You need to take a good look at all that free time you have and disposable income you throwing away and understand that the loafing around with your life you are afforded now will be gone (probably forever). Sounds fun right!?
Alright, I’m back.
Now, if you have more than one child in more than one home then you are stuck with the unfortunate truth that the homes must compete for your time and attention. Please don’t read compete as in “bid” and “play sports” or “fight to the death”. It’s more so a realization that when dividing your time and money at some point, somebody is gonna come up short. Face it, you are only one man. If you got 2 kids starting school at the same time, you might not be able to take both in for the first day. If your children are both interested in soccer and your funds are low, you might not be able to pay both sets of fees and equipment on the same paycheck. This happens. There’s no shame in being overwhelmed while trying to juggle a life. The shame comes from giving up.
The Nuclear Home
Getting back to dealing with the baby mamas, understand that *THE BEST* scenario you can have at that point is to *CHOOSE* one you can work with and love and build a *NUCLEAR FAMILY*. The laws don’t allow you to be with all of them (but I’m working on that). In the meantime, you have to be able to show ALL your children STABILITY. They need to see that their father can make it work with somebody (for them, they are rooting for their mother) and they need to see their father is anchored and established in a loving home. This helps so even if they only visit on the weekends they can see that their father has a quality home that’s drama free and that he has a woman that he loves and treats well. This is good for the OPTICS that a child will grew up and model him or herself after.
Once you have KIDS your life ain't about "YOU" anymore… #GardeningTips4Dads
— Parenting Advice (@WaterYourSeeds) January 5, 2015
Stop Sleeping with ALL OF THEM
If you are still sleeping with multiple baby mamas and wondering why they are all bat crazy, then you gotta ask yourself, “who is the common demoninator in this equation???” After you do that, Slap that person. When your face stops hurting, continue reading below.
Sleeping with multiple women is probably why you in this situation in the first place (I know that’s how I got in it, lol). The moment you PICK ONE and be faithful to that one alone, that’s the moment the healing starts on the other ends and you find that the volatility and bat craziness subsides… If your kid is being used as a pawn to get you to jump through hoops and you’re STILL sleeping with that woman then she has effectively trained you. You might as well be on a leash and do tricks. Have some effing self control and live a life that’s “Hoop Free” why don’t cha.
CONTINUATION IN PART 2
Okay, Okay, Okay!
I’ve reached my word legal limit! I promise to break the next few up into shorter intervals!
Leave me a comment and tell me what you think!
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