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The Hoop Test for Deadbeat Dads

Let’s get straight to the point:

A lot of fathers are labeled DEADBEAT DADS because they refuse to jump through the hoops of often bitter exes.  Think about it.  A relationship didn’t work out.  We all have it happen.  Okay, moving on,  now what?  Oh yeah… we have a kid together…  Well, I really value fatherhood and I grew up without an active father so I want to be in my child’s life for all those special moments.  The problem is, I’ve moved on but the ex hasn’t.  What’s a man to do?

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What’s a man to do when a bitter, vindictive, spiteful ex has the reigns to a part of him manhood that he deems so important?  You know what he does?  He jumps through hoops.

Many bitter mothers make men jump through all types of unnecessary hoops to spend time with their children.
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A bitter ex will tell you you can’t get your child unless:

  1. you live by yourself
  2. you don’t have “that bish” around the kids
  3. she can come over and see how you’re living
  4. your mama don’t look at her crazy (she might hurt her kids)
  5. you take all her attitude and belittling of you with a smile
    *disclaimer:  if the smile looks too disingenuous she might renigg on you getting your children (you might hurt her kids).

Basically, you jump through hoops to the satisfaction of a woman that can’t be satisfied and if for some strange reason you get tired of jumping through hoops then *POW!*  you are labeled a deadbeat.  Next to being a woman beater, there’s no greater “Scarlet Letter” for a man to wear in shame.  (Even being labeled a felon can get you street cred and the label of a “bad boy”).
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In closing, we need to really, REALLY, examine a system that values GENDER EQUALITY yet places so little value on the rights of fathers. For emotionally damaged women to have so much power over a man is mind boggling to me.  For women to not understand how a man can walk away and remove himself from such hoop jumping, even at the risk of loosing the relationship with his children is equally baffling…
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